Ms. Basko challenged us to expand our thinking so that we could be more creative in our introductions. She wanted us to be able to capture the attention of the reader yet still tell the reader what the paper is about in some way. I am not a creative person so doing this was really a struggle for me to get started but as soon as I got one done the other ones were a lot easier.
1. Cookies, usually round, moist and filled to max with anything you want. These pieces of dough have been enjoyed by millions everyday since 1930. Ruth Wakefield the genius behind the chocolate chip cookies started making them for the guests at her Massachusetts hotel. One day a friend of hers Andrew Nestle offered her all the chocolate she needed to make the cookies in exchange for her famous recipe. She accepted and the rest is history. In class we did a taste test to see how the recipe as changed throughout the years, here are my results.
2. The smell, its a very unique and recognizable one. The one you smell when your outside playing baseball with the neighbors and going running inside to get some. Its the smell that makes your mouth water when you first smell it. Can you guess? the one, the only chocolate chip cookie. If you couldn't guess it at first now you know what I mean. There are many ways to make these unbelievable cookies so my English class decided to find out which cookie is best, and here are my results.
3. "Oreo, milks favorite cookie" has been the slogan of Oreo cookies for years but I have to disagree. The original cookies, chocolate chip, are the best cookies and are the ones that milk enjoys the most. These cookies are the ones that most people drink milk with. So I decided to check and see which chocolate chip cookie is the best out of all of them.
Out of all the introductions, introduction number two and one were my favorite. I liked introduction one because you presented a little history to the reader as to how chocolate chip cookies were originally made. I think you should add a little more detail after you state the sentence, "She accepted and the rest is history", because it cuts off and then goes to what you were going to write the paper on. The second introduction I liked because you related it to how it was popular in the United States and was a worldwide known scent. The third introduction was okay, I liked how you told the slogan of Oreo cookies, but I wish you provided a little more detail as to why chocolate chip cookies are the cookie people enjoy most with milk. Good introduction though.. even though i'm still mad at you about the 50 percent joke.. not cool.
ReplyDeleteNot to disagree with Clara or anything, but I am going to disagree with her. I honestly thought that your third introduction was clearly the best written. There is a very good lead in statement, with a pretty good transition into "So I decided... all of them." It really gives the reader a quick insight into what the essay will be about. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tyler because in your third introduction, you start out to state how the chocolate chip cookie is better than the oreo. Also, the last sentence of your introduction makes the reader want to know what your results were and how you decided those results. In my opinion, when you say "here are my results" it sounds like you're writing a research paper or an article but the third introduction flows very well.
ReplyDeleteThe statement you started the third introduction with really got my attention right away. It made me want to keep reading and see what else the paper had to say. The flow was nice along with the description.
ReplyDeleteHi Eric,
ReplyDeleteCAPS!
You need to introduce this post. What is it about? Explain it so that readers know what they are looking at.
I'd also like to see you introduce each introduction. What are you trying to accomplish in each one? It might also help for you to include your original introduction so that we can see the evolution of your writing.
Ms. Basko